Welcome to the inside of my mind.

As a first post on this web sight ( that is irrefutably ‘tumblr’) i thought i would make it seemingly sentimental for a sentimental web sight, as it is filled with notations that imply depression (some don’t even have the time imply it) as well as drug taking, adolescent love, and sexual confusion in people, so i thought i would start with some thing close to me, one of first my ‘loves’ his name was Derek (although ‘he’ was vague with ‘his’ gender and kept it very discreet of which side of the fence he was on, plus i just do not know how to tell with spiders. so i just assumed and it looked like a ‘Derek’. So for reference purposes it’s a ‘he’), I remember when Derek and I first met species confrontation in my room, he was a spider and i was (and still am) a naive adolescent, normally to solve a problem like this i would look to those shows on ABC about race relations but i soon discovered that they didn’t air species related shows. (FUCK YOU ABC!) But that is neither here or there, i was still facing my spider related problem. Most people ask ‘why didn’t you kill the spider?’ and i come up with some crass answer that in most cases has something to do with Buddhism, but to be genuine i was afraid the id i rolled up a news paper or got one of my thongs and it him with one of em’ and Derek didn’t die then some how comprehended that i was attempting to perform the act of murder on him, which he would rebut by fighting back with all his spidery strength or even worse go in to hiding and ambush me when i least expect it, and some of you may be thinking “oh spiders aint’ smart enough for that” and if you are thinking that, where is your proof, what evidence do you have that suggests against the capability of a spiders inelegance (or any bug for that matter), just because Derek did not have the facility for language dose not mean he was ignorant by any means, he may have well been the Steven Hawalking among spiders. So i signed a mental treating with Derek before i departed my room (and not knowing weather he agreed or not, i allocated a slice of trust in our theoretic mental agreement). I left the room to gather my mental self and composed it so i did not look weak in the judgmental eyes of this new found friend, I walked back into the room quite altruistic but the selflessness soon  diapered to the sight of nothing. The sight of nothing is normally a passively good sight, it is in no way intruding or urgent, it doesn’t insinuate anything bad about you, it is purely nothing, but in this particular case, it was fuckin’ mental hence Derek was gone, (and this signifies two significant things in the history of me, one, i have a small venomous eight legged creature that was well capable of killing me lost some where in my room which is wear i do most of my sleeping, two, caught in the moment of realization, i think my balls dropped). This then turned into a typical game of cat and mouse, I just have to find Derek, like a game of hide and go seek, except this was not as childish as that, i had to find Derek before he found me and fucking murdered me in cold spider blood! And that was the first time i ever meet Derek, we had became good friends, we seeped together (not in a sexual way, well at least i never consciously tinkered with Derek’s bits, what he did while i was a sleep i will never know, the pervert.

Derek died a couple weeks later, and no I did not kill him.